AN ALTERNATIVE TO THE ONGOING THEATER OF THE SELFIE. | My teenage daughter and I have developed an odd routine, while searching for a social-media connection that made sense to both of us. But first, some background. I was terrified that Snapchat was secretly only being used to send ill-advised images that no one would ever want their parents to see. Forging bravely ahead, I approached Snapchat like another Instagram--a place to post an amusing image with a clever caption--but in this case, for some reason, not one meant to be stored or savored. It seems instead, however, that the transient nature of Snapchat had fulfilled an unexpected need for young people: to function as a congruence pantomime. Let me explain. The psychological idea of congruence has to do with the effortless matching of your public or readily-visible affect with your inner emotional life: you look like you feel. It can be very confusing for your loved ones, for instance, when you’re smiling on the outside and raging on the inside. My daughter and her friends use Snapchat to capture, in facial expressions, the visual essence of their response to a message. If she receives a puzzling note, she forms a what-do-you-mean face and sends it back (all of this happening, of course, at lightning speed). Since Snapchats are not meant to be stored, they become fleeting images that represent the essence of a shoulder-shrug, a sympathetic glance, a stifled yawn, without the time-suck of FaceTime or the chore of choosing words--which, sadly, are vulnerable to being misunderstood anyway. While I now appreciate this dynamic, I’m not in the least drawn to it. You see, I was raised to believe that even stealing a peek at yourself in the mirror was probably a sin, and at the very least a sign of unbridled vanity. To hold a camera at arm’s length and constantly shoot photographs of yourself--well, it’s nearly unthinkable for me. Enter the Fake Candid. We discovered the peculiar joy of capturing a moment as if we had no idea our picture was being taken, with care taken to conceal the outstretched arm and portray the least-self-conscious demeanor possible. A hard-to-explain game for sure--not entirely without some competitive spirit--of trying to perfect the I-have-no-idea-someone's-taking-my-picture affect. (Mid-yawn and mid-sneeze are good expressions to try to emulate.) But how generous is that heart of hers, to make room for a way that her aging father can participate in this young-person's medium, an alternative to the ongoing Theater of the Selfie, and a free pass on the congruence pantomime. |