A BAVARIAN EQUIVALENT TO THE CENTRAL AMERICAN ISSUE. | I only spent about a week and half in Nicaragua, but I began to feel of some of its culture’s distinctions by the time I left. I got the idea that at least part of the regional perception of Nicaraguans as a lower-class people than their neighbors stems from a lack of complexity in their communication. For example, I learned that in the countries surrounding Nicaragua, there is a tremendous social stigma attached to saying “no.” If someone asks you to do something, and you are unable to do it, the socially-acceptable response is to answer “yes,” and it is only reasonable to assume that you will simply weasel out of it later, when no one’s watching. In Nicaragua, where life has been extremely difficult for so many generations, this complicated etiquette is utterly useless. “No” means “no,” and a “yes,” if you get one, signals that a commitment has been made. I like Nicaragua. When I first worked with cinematographer Michael Ballhaus, it was on his first assignment in the U.S., a German film with American actors and English dialogue. Michael’s English was halting, but his mastery of the medium of film was magnificent. As a production designer with a keen interest in the interplay between art direction and the camera, I found Michael to be an ideal creative partner, and we collaborated on eight or so projects. I was lucky to have Michael shoot my first effort at directing, a short film shot in 16mm. Having a “video tap” from a film camera in those days, so that others can see what's being shot, was still an expensive luxury, and so I had to trust Michael to let me know whether each take was usable or not. The first few shots went smoothly, with me asking Michael, once I saw a couple of takes that looked good to me, “Do we have it?” and him responding, “Yes,” with various intonations. It wasn’t until a few shots into the first day that I saw a particularly dynamic take of a shot, and when I asked Michael if we “had it,” his response was a breathless “Yes!” with his eyes bright and shimmering. So here was a Bavarian equivalent to the Central American issue. I now understood that there were several kinds of “yes” when working with Michael, and most of them actually meant “no.” I had no idea at the time that I would incorporate this smallish realization into all aspects of my business life, my role as a parent, and my social world, or that it would turn into something of a lifelong quest. Because life is so much better, and easier, when we look for the Big Yes, instead of settling for one of those marginal ones, the ones that might turn out to mean something else. But you know what’s even more liberating? Knowing when to give someone the Big Yes. |